Restoring Masculinity: The Balance of the Wise

For the past 6,000 years, since the sin of Adam and Eve, we have lived in a fallen world.

I told a worship leader recently she would be wise to never blame God for bad stuff that happens in life. Blame it on a fallen world and always trust in the perfectly good character of God.

Part of our fallenness stems from life out of balance. We swing pendulums this way and that, being too lenient or being too firm, too hot or cold, or thinking norms now are the way things always were (they’re not).

One such area of imbalance today is the roles/expressions of masculinity and femininity. This is a very recent phenomenon.

Here are some thoughts on restoring masculinity—even in worship.

Restoring Masculinity: The Balance of the Wise

When I was a young missionary and didn’t know as much about life as I do now, I flew into Knoxville, Tennessee to quell an uprising.

It was 1976 and Youth With A Mission was leading a nation-wide project called “The Spirit in ’76” calling the American Church to revival and evangelism during the bicentennial. Leland Paris was the visionary leader of this exciting six-month outreach (from whom I also received my call as a revival evangelist.). 

YWAM mobilized bike teams, hike teams, and assorted other mobile units in 1976 to crisscross the nation awakening the Church and sharing their faith. The week of July 4–the 200th anniversary of America’s birthday–we converged outside Philadelphia for a huge outdoor rally. We wanted the Spirit of ‘1776 to be saturated in the Holy Spirit in 1976.

The most unique evangelism team during that outreach was the Wagon Train.

Here’s how I describe it in my autobiography (One Small Life):

The Wagon Trainers, using a dozen wagons with mules and horses to pull them, started in San Diego and stopped primarily in small towns across the U.S. ‘to make a big splash in little buckets.’ Their ‘Medicine Shows’ called people to faith, prayer, and repentance.

I flew into Knoxville on June 1, 1976, to train the 85 participants. In their staff times, some leaders were teaching an extreme form of theology that was dividing the ranks. My job was to bring them into balance and help unify the team to do God’s work. (Yes, you can be imbalanced in theology also.) To fulfill my assignment, God gave me a message called “The Balance of the Wise.”

I’ve tried to practice it in other areas of my life ever since. 

For decades I’ve been aware of the imbalanced emphasis on maleness and femaleness in our culture. While it was essential to elevate women into all areas of America life, it’s been very hurtful to demean and discourage men in the process.

For much of the past fifty years we’ve been feminizing Western culture (a Satanic conspiracy to weaken it).

Masculinity and femininity are equally important. They are different parts God’s makeup. For at least two generations, men have been made to look weak and stupid in media portrayals and male attributes frowned upon. That imbalance has greatly hurt the development of young men and families.

Fortunately, the trend is now reversing in the USA. Good forms of maleness are making a comeback.

Following is a thought-provoking article on the need for more balance, even in worship. If it offends you, check your “balance meter.” During the “Greatest Generation” (World War II) these ideas were normal.

The Masculinity That the Church Forgot

by Virgil Walker

It’s not the lights. But it is the fog machines. It’s not even the style of music. It’s the posture. The lyrics. The tone.

We’ve turned the worship of a holy, sovereign King into the emotional soundtrack of a middle school breakup.

When grown men are on stage whispering into a mic, eyes glazed over, singing about being “held” and “embraced” while swaying like they’re in a trance—we have a problem. Not because emotion is wrong. But because effeminacy in the name of worship is not reverence. It’s confusion.

Somehow we’ve forgotten that worship is war.

Psalm 144:1 says, “Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle.” That’s worship. That’s masculine. That’s David.

We’ve got men singing like lovers to someone they barely know. Lyrics that don’t exalt the greatness of God — they exalt the emotions of the singer. Songs where Christ isn’t the conquering Lion — He’s a cosmic life coach who makes you feel seen.

Worship is formative. It doesn’t just reflect our theology — it shapes it.

When our songs are soaked in sentiment but empty of sovereignty, don’t be surprised when our churches produce men who are tender but timid. Present but passive. Polite but powerless.

The problem isn’t just the lyrics. It’s the leaders.

Male worship leaders used to sound like prophets. Now many look like poets trying to cry on cue. The stage presence is soaked in soft emotion, but stripped of holy gravity. They perform as if God is their girlfriend, not their King.

The result? A generation of men in the pew who don’t know whether to raise their hands or fold them in embarrassment.

David was a worship leader too. This is the masculinity the Church forgot. David played the harp, but he also killed lions. And men.

He didn’t sing to feel seen. He sang to magnify the God who delivered him from Goliath.

Read the Psalms. They’re raw, honest, emotional — but never effeminate. David weeps and rejoices, trembles and triumphs, but he never worships like a man who forgot his strength.

He cries, yes — but he also declares, “The Lord is a warrior.” He says, “By my God I can leap over a wall.” He writes, “You train my hands for war.” (Psalm 18:34, Psalm 144:1)

Worship in Scripture is not a therapy session. It’s a battlefield.

Where are the songs that declare the holiness of God, the wrath of the Lamb, the blood that satisfies divine justice, and the crown rights of King Jesus?

Where are the songs that teach men how to stand firm, fight sin, love truth, and die well? Where are the songs that speak to men at all? We don’t need music that helps us feel better. We need music that helps us remember who God is—and who we are in Him.

He is not your boyfriend. He is not your vibe. He is not your motivational speaker. He is King of Kings and Lord of Lords. 
He’s coming with a sword, not a scented candle.

We’re not calling for angry vocals or electric guitars. We’re calling for worship that reminds men they were made for battle, not for boyish emotionalism.

Masculine worship exalts Christ’s glory, not the singer’s feelings. It produces courage, not co-dependence. It teaches sacrifice, not self-expression.

When worship loses its roar, the men stop showing up. And when the men stop showing up, the Church forgets how to fight.

This isn’t about aesthetics. It’s about allegiance. The Church is not a spa. It’s a barracks. Worship is not a performance. It’s a proclamation.

Our God is a consuming fire. Our King wears a crown stained in blood. And our mission is war until He returns. Let’s sing like it. Let’s lead like it. Let’s live like it.

Because the next generation is watching — and the dragon hasn’t gone to sleep.

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By itself, the above piece is imbalanced. We need the feminine expressions of worship also. 

We need both to be wise and culturally well balanced–including worship.