Culture
The Narcissism Epidemic
It’s all about me.
That incredibly narrow statement is the opposite of the first sentence in Rick Warren’s best-selling book, The Purpose Drive Life. It begins with these words:
It’s not about you.
However, the other phrase now seems to be the reigning philosophy in the West–a terrible phenomenon called narcissism. I’d never heard of narcissism when I was a kid. But I know about it now and see it everywhere I go.
Let’s take a look at the narcissist epidemic of our time and what needs to be done about it.
In researching this subject, I consulted a favorite dictionary: Webster’s 1828 Edition–the first one written by Noah Webster in the middle of America’s Second Great Awakening. It’s yuge!, and is sitting on my desk right now opened to the “N’s.” The word narcissist or narcissism is nowhere to be found.
Hmm.
I wasn’t surprised. In my readings of history, I learned that “self-consciousness” and even writing in the first person is relatively new. In fact, historians agree that Augustine of Hippo and St. Patrick of Ireland (in the 5th century AD) were probably the first humans to write books through the eyes of “self.”
In other words, ancient peoples saw the world through the eyes of God, the gods, or the group they identified with. They thought about others, considered themselves a part of others, and didn’t really even think about themselves. To them, a self-centered view of life was narrow, petty, not worthy of comment. It didn’t matter what “I” thought. Life was about others and to be lived for others.
My how times have changed.
Getting back to narcissism, I pulled up an on-line dictionary and here’s what popped up:
- Narcissism. noun. 1. excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one’s physical appearance. Vanity, self love, self-admiration, self-absorption, self-obsession, conceit, self-centeredness, self regard, egotism.
For thousands of years, the above definition didn’t apply to many human beings. Yes, there’s always been sin and self-centeredness. But at least in past centuries, it was oftentimes restrained internally and not expressed outwardly except in the case of thugs or deviants.
But in our day, many selfless concepts just as duty, moral obligation, “loving your neighbor as yourself,” or putting God at the center of your life (the first two Commandments) have gone by the wayside.
A large portion of 21st century Westerners seem completely obsessed with self.
Narcissism shows itself in many forms:
- Education – Children are no longer taught the Golden Rule, respect for authority, and living a life for the common good. Rather, life is all about having good “self esteem” and studying what you want to get what you want out of life. No wonder our schools are failing and kids are bored.
- Vocations – Young people in the West are taught that life is about “doing what you want” and making a lot of money so that you can be successful and happy. In the Christian worldview, that’s backwards: each of us should submit our lives to the Loving God and find His purpose for our lives–not what we want, but “Your will be done.”
- Marriage – Have you noticed how many young couples are no longer doing church weddings where the focus is on God bringing them together for His glory and purposes? Rather, the wedding is “all about us”–going where we want, saying what we want, and having the attention be on two human beings without reference to their Maker and Savior.
- Entitlements – Europe is already composed of many cradle-to-the-grave welfare states, and America is not far behind. Many people don’t vote for good leadership, or what’s good for their nation, but rather “what’s in it for me?” They feel entitled to food, housing, health care, even an abundance of leisure. The work ethic and personal responsibility are dying a slow death. In America, fully 20% of the population have not one family member working.
As America and Europe have become more secular (turning away from their God-and-other-people-centered roots), then narcissism has arisen. The addiction to social media by people of all ages in the 21st century says it all.
It’s all about me. My tweets. My photos. What I had for lunch. What mood I’m in. Much of what goes for healthy social interaction today is simply self-love on steroids.
Narcissism also shows up big-time in our politics. President Obama is the United States’ second narcissistic president, after Richard Nixon. But Nixon lived in a time period when Christian values were still in vogue and love of God and others, civic duty, etc. were widespread. During Obama’s term, those noble qualities have evaporated.
The rise of narcissism is also what makes the present US presidential race so alarming. Four of the five final candidates are garden-variety narcissists.
On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders is a Socialistic who wants to give “free stuff” to everybody. He’s the Robin Hood/Santa Claus of the 2016 race–and hundreds of thousands of people (especially Millennials) have been drawn to his message.
Like attracts like.
Hillary Clinton talks about “Working for You,” but her whole life has been the pursuit of power and money through self ambition.
The front-running Republican, Donald Trump, is unashamedly narcissistic. It’s all about him. Look again at the definition of narcissism above and you will find it can also be spelled T-R-U-M-P. Only difference is it’s an angry version of the Democrat form.
The only non-narcissist of the bunch is Ted Cruz. He’s the one candidate remaining with a solid Judeo-Christian philosophy and outlook. For Cruz (and Fiorina), it’s not about them. It’s about the Constitution–which was meant to be a restraint on self interest.
So what do we do about the narcissistic tidal wave enveloping us?
We do what honest human beings have always done. We pray for ourselves, our neighbors, our friends and our nations. We ask God to invade and change our hearts. The Bible calls this inner transformation conversion, repentance, being born again, or loving God supremely and your neighbor equally.
The only way to accomplish it is to die to yourself (with God’s help).
Life is not about you. It’s about loving Him and others.
In many parts of the world I have given a message called “The Secret of Happiness.” You can watch it here whenever you have the time. Putting God at the CENTER of your life is how we defeat the cancer of narcissism.
Leonard Ravenhill tells us:
“The man who has died to self has no ambitions so he has nothing to be jealous about. He has no reputation so he has nothing to fight about. He has no possessions so he has nothing to worry about. He has no rights, so he can’t suffer any wrongs. He is already dead so no one can kill him.”
The Apostle Paul put it this way:
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace” (Acts 20:24).
Or Dietrich Bonhoeffer:
“The Cross is not the terrible end to an otherwise God-fearing and happy life. Rather, the Cross meets us at the beginning of our communion with Christ. When Christ calls a person, he bids them to come and die.”
Here’s a final meditation on killing the narcissistic spirit:
“When you are forgotten or neglected and you don’t complain and hurt with the sting of self-pity, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ—that is death to self.”
“When your good deeds are misunderstood, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you don’t let your anger arise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient understanding—that is death to self.”
“When you near with any disorder, tardiness or annoyance, and when you stand face-to-face with greed, extravagance and abuse, and endure as Jesus endured—that is death to self.”
“When you are content with any food, clothing, climate, circumstances, or any interruption by the will of God—that is death to self.”
“When you don’t care to focus on yourself in conversation, or bring attention to your accomplishments, or seek the approval of men—when you can truly love to be unknown—that is death to self.”
“When you can see others prosper and can honestly rejoice in the good fortunes of others and not envy and question God while your needs are far greater and in desperate circumstances—that is death to self.”
“When you can receive correction or reproof from someone of less stature than yourself, and can humbly submit both inwardly and outwardly, finding no resentment or rebellion rising up in your heart—that is death to self.”
“Are you dead to self yet?”
Fittingly, the author of those insights is anonymous.
It was not about them.
How about you? It’s time to learn the lesson while there’s still hope. Because when you die, and arrive on the other side of eternity, the first lesson you face when you meet God is this:
It was never about you.
The First Election in Post Christian America?
The Super Tuesday results are in and both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are leading their respective parties.
This means we are on the verge of having an entire presidential election built on anger and envy.
Today I want to define the bigger cultural problem we’re facing in America. Next week I will propose the short-term and long term solutions.
But first I want you to ponder the following:
Is this the first major election in post-Christian America?
One year ago I was very excited about the 2016 race. After seven dreary years of watching America be divided and transformed by a secular progressive ideological administration. I was heartened that many good people had stepped up. 2016 looked like a great year to point the American electorate back to a freedom agenda.
The Republican side included a number of good-to-excellent governors, two sharp US senators, and a couple of successful business people–with at least four of them being “outsiders” (Trump, Fiorina, Carson and Cruz). They were also a great racial mix of America–black, Hispanic, Indian (Bobbie Jindal) and white.
The Republicans had become the “Big Tent” Party. On the other side stood two old white insiders.
I likened my initial excitement to the beginning of football season. There’d be many contests, then the playoffs, and in the end, the best candidate would prevail.
Because most of the contenders were God-fearing, conservative-oriented people, I assumed that one of them would rise to the top. That’s still possible, but not in the case of the current front-runner who could be the Republican nominee.
Let’s first look at the main remaining candidates and then size up the Church and electorate.
Hillary Clinton
It appears after Super Tuesday that she is sailing toward the Democrat nomination–though she’s a non-inspiring campaigner, a political camelion of sorts, a voice from the past, and appears to have a problem with integrity and truth-telling.
When she was asked by an NBC journalist whether she’s ever lied to the public, she looked flustered and blurted out, “I try not to!”
Try telling your wife you “try not to commit adultery.”
There’s a good chance Hillary will be indicted in the next six months for breaking the law and compromising the security of the United States with her e-mails. If not before the election, then maybe after she becomes president–whereas she can be the first POTUS in history to pardon herself.
Richard Nixon must be rolling in his grave.
Bernie Sanders
If the world were made up of utopian college students, then Bernie would be crowned emperor. You have to like his sincerity about wanting to give everybody free stuff. He’s a modern day Robin Hood (take from the rich and give to the poor) teamed up with Santa Claus.
I wanted to write an article about him naming it “Santa Hood,” but it sounded too inner-city.
Then there’s the problem with socialism: The second “S” in USSR stood for “Socialist” and that nation imploded economically. Cuba has been exporting socialism for years and it’s the basket case of the Caribbean. Socialist Venezuela is on the verge of collapse.
Yes, I know that Europe has many smaller social democracies. But they’re dying spiritually and economically under the paws of government control. Is that that the path that America wants to take?
Managed “socialist” economies only produce one thing over time: equal poverty for all (except for a few elites). Yet, it’s been hilarious to listen to Bernie’s college-age followers talk about socialism. Some even think it’s a form of social media!
Memo to America: It’s time to break up the monopoly of public education and begin teaching liberty again. Ignorance is not bliss. It leads to less opportunity, lower standards of living and ultimately tyranny.
Marco Rubio
He’s young, articulate, charismatic, and Hispanic. He stumbled when attacked by Chris Christie, but has rebounded and just won his first state (Minnesota). In my view he would make a young Ronald Reagan in the 21st century–a good president. He’s not as rigidly principled as Ted Cruz–but thoroughly conservative.
It’s unfair to call him establishment. He became a senator via the Tea Party.
Ted Cruz
He’s probably the only true outsider in the race who is hated by Washington, D.C. for his principled stands. Though not as humble or charismatic as Rubio, his lawyerly, constitutional approach is refreshing. He now has three states under his belt including the large, critical state of Texas.
Howevr, notice that both the secular press and Washington power brokers hate Ted Cruz. That tells you who would make an excellent 45th president.
Donald Trump
Right now he’s the likely Republican nominee, and in my view, that’s concerning. Though I appreciate him initially taking on the entrenched Washington and political correctness, his true character has come out over the past few months and it’s not presidential.
In temperament, he’s simply a junior high bully. He’s says he’s conservative now, but lived most of his adult life as a pragmatic liberal. As president, we don’t know what we’d get. There are no core principles in Donald Trump except self expression.
Here’s the most thoughtful article I’ve seen on the Donald, written by missiologist/revivalist friend George Otis, Jr.
It is well worth your time.
The real draw of Donald Trump is a frightened and angry American electorate that is fed up with the corrupt staus quo (that’s a good thing), but is looking for a King. Trump is tall, brash, and monarch-like. And he also embodies the secrets loves (idols) of many Americans: 1) He’s rich (money). 2) He has a supermodel wife (sex), and 3) He’s an entertainer (fame).
That’s what many Americans desire. They personify their longing in the towering personality of Donald Trump. Hence the powerful draw of his populist message and secular messiah image.
I’m extremely worried about Trump choosing the next Supreme Court justice. That goes for many other areas of public policy. I have no such concerns with Ted Cruz or Marco Rubio.
The American Church
My greatest disappointment over the past months has been with Christian leaders and conservative pundits who have joined the Trump bandwagon. They, too, are so upset at the political establishment that they seem willing to support anything that will crush it.
But I would remind them of this simple truth: the end doesn’t justify the means. The goal of renewing our government is not worth it if done through a foul-mouthed, temper-tantrum bully who doesn’t even believe in the essence of biblical faith–needing God’s forgiveness.
That’s horrendous compromise. It will not have a good ending. Think of King Saul in the Old Testament.
One of the saddest statistics is the number of “evangelicals” that are voting for Donald Trump (and Hillary Clinton). That tells you much about the state of the Church. We already know that many liberal denominations no longer teach God’s truth. But evangelicals have withstood the progressive tide in the past because of their born again values and biblical worldview–taught in the Bible-believing churches.
However, a Rubicon of sorts was passed in 2008 and ’12 when many Christians sat out the election or voted for Barack Obama because of his charisma. In 2016, many evangelicals are joining the Trump tsunami–which reveals one thing: a stunning failure of discipleship on the part of the Church.
(Click here to read a good article by Bill Blankshaen on Christians voting for Trump.)
The American Electorate
There are 323 million people in the United States (third largest country on earth) who are not easy to classify. But it’s increasingly clear that this generation isn’t attuned to the values of their fore bearers. A large segment of our nation fails to understand liberty, does not love or respect God, live for worldly pursuits, and nearly half the nation is receiving some kind of government support–and liking it.
Elections in free nations are cultural “mirrors”: what the people value, they will elect. Right now the majority of voters seem to be valuing a Republican Bully and a Democrat Liar. The voters appear frightened, angry, and envious of others.
Those are not the values of a free and virtuous people.
We’ve had 45 presidential elections in our 240 years as a republic. Yes, we’ve elected some pretty bad leaders during that time (think James Buchannon, Warren Harding, Andrew Johnson, and even Richard Nixon). But during those eras, spiritual awakenings and the Judeo-Christian ethics of the people held the nation together.
We are now in vastly different territory under a mountain of moral and financial debt where virtue and knowledge are no longer the bulwark of freedom. We are about to nominate a worldly bully and a corrupt liar to run against each other for president.
Thomas Sowell agrees. Read his sobering assessment here.
Both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton call themselves Christians. But the proof is in the fruit. Both are extremely weak in character–with Trump being childish and Hillary, devious. Clinton’s worldview is clearly secular progressive and Trump’s is all over the map. Both of these disqualify them from guiding a free nation.
But currently they are leading the pack due to another discomforting possibility:
We may be witnessing the first election in Post-Christian America.
(Next week: “Hope Can Be Found in the Way of the Cross.”)
Will the Cult of Self Take Down Western Civilization?
One of the advantages of older age is being a ring-side spectator to change–over a lifetime.
You saw things when you were young. You encountered change in your middle years. And in the latter portion of your life, you have a much bigger perspective on how cultures and nations go through powerful changes over time.
During my lifespan, both the United States and, indeed, our entire Western culture, has morphed from one worldview and its norms to another that is threatening its very existence.
To put it simply, we’ve retreated from being God-centered (or respecting) societies to self-centered ones.
Will this cult of self eventually take down Western Civilization?
There are voluminous examples I could use to demonstrate the movement from God-centeredness to self-centeredness in the West:
- The removal of prayer and biblical truth in education, replaced with secularism and self-help.
- The focus on feelings and emotions over critical thinking and wisdom.
- The attack on Christian holidays (like Christmas) and the growth of pagan ones (like Halloween).
- The pursuit of pleasure through materialism as opposed to godliness via service.
- The growth of laziness and apathy in contrast to past generations’ focus on hard work and study.
Recently I’ve been thinking about two other “institutions” of Western culture that are being swamped by our narcissistic, self-seeking cultural tide.
Marriage Ceremonies and Funeral Services.
Marriage Ceremonies
First of all, many Westerners are taking marriage outside of churches into parks, beaches, and other private settings. I understand the beauty of nature and the desire to consummate the wedding ceremony in a lovely place. But many that are doing it are leaving God back at the church.
And many marriage ceremonies today are conducted by “friends” not ministers–cheapening the meaning of marriage as a God-made institution that should be formalized in God’s name. Instead, marriage is just a man-made contract where anything goes–and vows (which should be made before a Holy God), mean little or nothing.
I’ve talked to many young people–including those with a Christian heritage–who now share a pagan concept of weddings. They say, “It’s all about us. We will go where we want, say what we want, and make the focus on us and our love.”
That’s not how my wife and I thought in 1976. We were committed to Christ and wanted to honor and glorify Him in all situations (1 Corinthians 10:31). When we planned our wedding, every decision was made based not on self-desire but how we could be pleasing to the Lord and give Him praise.
We held the ceremony in a church. We asked a minister to perform it. We asked him to preach the Good News to those in attendance. We used the reception to talk about our calling in ministry, had people pray over us, sang worship songs, and deflected all the wonder of our new union back to the One who had chosen us for each other and should receive all the credit.
It wasn’t any different from Russell Wilson pointing to heaven after a touchdown pass. “Do all to the glory of God.” We didn’t even think about what would puff up ourselves or “make us happy” as Cam Newton does in his Superman dance after he scores a touchdown.
That’s the cult of self. Wilson’s deference to God is the humble, God-glorifying display.
Many weddings today reflect the cult of self. No wonder the institution of marriage is dying.
Funerals (Memorials)
I’ve officiated at numerous funerals or memorial services during the past four decades. In my early years, they were all held in churches or funeral halls. At the service, there was often a solemnity and dignity over the reality of death. Ministers not only eulogized the deceased, but also spoke to the living about making sure they were right with God and ready to face their own mortality.
I was once invited to officiate the wedding of a non-believing family at our local cemetery. The one-follower- of-Christ in the family asked me purposefully to preach the Good News to his relatives and glorify God in the service. I was glad to do so, and many were touched by my words.
After I finished the address and they were lowering the body into the ground, I wandered over to the grave sites of some family members. A young woman who’d attended the grave side service approached me there and said: “I really appreciated your words. How can I give my life to Christ to have hope of eternal life?”
Over the graves of my ancestors I led this young woman to Jesus.
God had been glorified through the event.
Recently I’ve attended some memorials that seem to have a different motive. They’re themed with what the deceased “liked”–sports teams, hobbies, interests etc. with little or no mention of God and eternity. At these events, friends and families so praise the dead person that they are hardly recognizable.
It’s all about them. The cult of self strikes again.
I don’t think it’s wrong for funeral services (mostly solemn) to move toward memorials (predominantly celebratory.) There’s a good and healthy balance. But when God, heaven and hell, and our mortality and accountability are left out, then the event simply becomes a self-centered party that loses the whole meaning of being ready to face your Maker.
Let’s now take this to a higher level.
Europe’s Christian civilization is dying even faster than America’s and is also being replaced by the squishy cult of self. Listen to Joe Cunningham’s prophetic perspective:
“Way back in the day, and we’re talking centuries, Europe was a hotbed for the expansion of Christian ideas and philosophies. They were the foundations of European culture, government, and way of life. It influenced kings and empires, dictated the ways of life of millions for centuries.”
“The greatest empire the world had ever known, the British Empire, was built upon that foundation which stemmed back to the earliest days of Christendom. France, Spain, even Germany built legacies on top of the essential pillars of the faith.”
“Did they lose their way at times? Absolutely. But those foundations were there. They were fighting for something greater than people – they were fighting for identity, for country, for God, and for king. But, beginning late in the 20th century, those ideas were being tossed aside in favor of humanism [self]. The result of this transition has led to social program after social program that has left a lot of Europe broke and on the verge of collapse. “
“Via the Wall Street Journal: ‘Europe is dying because it has become morally incompetent. It isn’t that Europe stands for nothing. It’s that it stands for shallow things, shallowly. Europeans believe in human rights, tolerance, openness, peace, progress, the environment, pleasure. These beliefs are all very nice, but they are also secondary.'”
“What Europeans no longer believe in are the things from which their beliefs spring: Judaism and Christianity; liberalism and the Enlightenment; martial pride and capability; capitalism and wealth. Still less do they believe in fighting or sacrificing or paying or even arguing for these things. Having ignored and undermined their own foundations, they wonder why their house is coming apart.”
“Ultimately, what makes Europe’s downfall so imminent is that it does not seem to recognize, as the Left here in America doesn’t, that it’s their own policies within this modern era that are killing them.”
“The focus has been placed on the individual in such a shallow way while ignoring the individual in a deeper, meaningful way. They focus on how we feel, what we do, and how we can be fair to one another. Meanwhile, they ignore the very basis of humanity. The need for something greater than ourselves to believe in. The need to be part of something greater.”
“Big government types love to tell us that we can belong to the government, but the government is shallow. It, too, focuses on the shallow person, not the greater person underneath. It cares little for religious liberty because religion can offend you. It says ‘belong to us, but don’t claim a national identity. You’re not American, you see. You’re not British. You’re not French. You’re not Spanish or German. Your identity comes from your race, sexual orientation, gender, or whatever else we can think of. But we never belong to a nation.'”
“That has to change. In Europe and in the U.S. It has to change because society cannot build deep and lasting foundations on things that are so shallow.”
Amen, Joe.
There’s nothing more shallow than self. It’s limited to you–sinful you. On the other hand, there’s nothing bigger than God–the glorious and holy Creator and Savior of all that there is.
The Western world needs a Christ-centered revival that will once again re-shape all that we do.
If we don’t experience it, the cult of self will kill us.