Tiger Woods' world fell apart because he lacked self-control in his sexual life--his personal behavior. His problem was lust, but yours and mine could be greed, envy, jealousy, anger, unbelief, or a host of other sins.

The lack of self control is a pandemic in the Western world. It's much bigger than the swine flu. You see it everywhere you go.

While changing planes in Chicago, I noticed a group of young people in the same waiting room. I couldn't help noticing. They slouched on chairs, wrestled on the carpet, threw spit wads and paper airplanes, and made a general nuisance of themselves. I was embarrassed by their poor example. I'd traveled enough to know that the "ugly American" image was often earned.

Our entire culture needs a good lesson in behavioral self-control. Paul said to his young friend Timothy many years ago, "Be an example to the believers with your words, your actions, your love, your faith, and your pure life" (I Timothy 4:12).  In the inner city, they put it this way: "Don't talk the talk until you're willing to walk the walk."

The choice to control our actions, according to the commandments of God, is a decision we have to make constantly. The right choices can only be made if, out of our love and commitment to Jesus, we "want to do right more than anything else" (Matthew 5:6).  We have a choice of:

• the awe and respect we show for God.
• the honor and obedience we give our parents.
• the ways we relate to siblings and friends.
• the body language we use.
• the way we groom and dress ourselves.
• the manners we show toward others.
• the rights of others that we honor and promote.
• our sexual choices, either for purity or perversion.

For the past 40 years, our culture has been sliding down the mountain of declining self-control each year. It shows up most in youth culture. From Elvis in the 50s to rappers in the 21st century, we have barreled down the hill until a total lack of restraint has become the accepted norm. 

As believers, we need to aim for the highest standards. We need to choose daily to govern ourselves by the principles of God's Word. In the words of the apostle James: "Are there those among you who are truly wise and understanding? Then they should show it by living right and doing good things with a gentleness that comes from wisdom....But the wisdom that comes from God is first of all pure, then peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. This wisdom is always ready to help those who are troubled and to do good for others. It is always fair and honest. People who work for peace in a peaceful way plant a good crop of right-living "(James 3:13, 17,18). 
 
Another area of much needed self-control is in the effective use of time. In fact, no area more clearly shows our sense of godly perspective than the way we use the precious minutes that God has given us. Tiger Woods got in trouble because he misused his free time.
 
I have a friend named Ken Smith who has written a wonderful book on managing your time . When I first met Ken, I thought he was an attorney who had gone nuts. He'd left a good practice to give seminars and counsel people on the Biblical principles of time and financial management. He went to bed every night at 8:00 p.m. He got up at 4:00 a.m. Every hour of his day was laid out on a sheet of paper in meticulous fashion.

Though very different from him, I learned by following some of his methods to better organize and value my time.  The older I get, the more I realize that if we don't learn to control our time, then we lose control of our lives. Paul said it this way in Ephesians 5:16,17: "Use every chance you have for doing good, because these are evil times. So do not be foolish but learn what the Lord wants you to do. "
 
Time is a non-renewable resource. Today's opportunities are tomorrow's memories. The consequences of lost opportunities can be eternal. There's the connection to your destiny.

For over a year, I enjoyed the privilege of working directly with Loren Cunningham, the founder and president of Youth With A Mission. I once heard Loren make a statement on leadership that made a deep and lasting impression on me. He said, "The number one quality of a leader is self-control."
For a while I questioned that concept. What about faith? What about love? Why single out the characteristic of self-control as number one?

The answer related to the nature of leadership. A leader, by definition, "goes before" as a guide for others through example and personal conduct. He's the model that others are to conform to. If he's a good role model, then people feel safe and protected under his leadership. But if he fails in his personal life, he brings others down with him. That's why sponsors are bailing on Tiger.

The governing quality of a leader's life must be self-control. As Baptist minister Gordon Hanstad puts it, "The greatest gift I can give to my people is the gift of my own personal holiness."  Think about it. Then think again about all the people in positions of leadership in our nation who are not exercising self-control. Think about the political sex scandals, fallen evangelists, professional athletes with AIDS, and entertainers on drugs and you will understand why we are where we are.

But we don't have to stay there. Whether you're a leader or not, God wants you to steer the course of your life. He wants you to commit yourself to right and holy living. Jesus has led the way. He's made the power of the Holy Spirit available to help all who would follow in His steps. Why not pray this prayer right now:

"Heavenly Father--I want to live a pure and holy life. I want to turn away from a lifestyle that is uncontrolled. I choose to possess the quality of self-control in the very center of my being.   Help me control my speech. Show me how to order my conduct and time.  Lord, help me to set a good example for all of those who are watching and being influenced by my life. Help me to add to my goodness and knowledge the precious quality of self-control.

Thank you, Father, for hearing and answering my prayer, in the Name of your beloved Son, the Lord Jesus. Amen.